Dry humor | Best jokes site | Funny world

 

1. I'm reading a book on anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down."
2. "I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised."
3. "I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands."
4. "I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already."

1. "I couldn't figure out how to put my seatbelt on. Then it just 'clicked.'"
2. "I'm friends with all electricians. We have great current connections."
3. "I'm not saying my neighbor is a hoarder, but I saw them on an episode of 'Storage Wars.'"
4. "I'm so good at sleeping; I can do it with my eyes closed."
5. "I'm writing a book about reverse psychology. Please don't buy it."
6. "My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch. I call it lunch."
7. "I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won't stop sending me Kit Kat bars."
8. "I asked the librarian if they had books on paranoia. She whispered, 'They're right behind you.'"
9. "I'm not lazy; I'm just in energy-saving mode."
10. "I can't believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off."
11. "I was going to tell a time travel joke, but you didn't like it."
12. "I'm not a baker, but I knead dough."
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14. "My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, I had to take his bike away."
15. "I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised."
16. "I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough dough."
17. "I asked the barber if I could get a haircut for free. He said, 'No, you'll have to pay for it.'"